To Expat or Not?
October 7, 2008
One of the biggest difficulties you are confronted with when living and working abroad is developing a social circle. As a schoolteacher, you have plenty of daily social interaction, but of course evenings and weekends are a different story altogether. High-minded and lofty idealist that I am, I had decided not to seek out the local expatriate circles here in Dakar, arguing that if I just wanted to spend my time with US citizens, I could just as easily have stayed at home.
But take it from me: no matter how seasoned a traveler you may be, there is something inherently wonderful in interacting with someone who knows your culture intimately, who can laugh with you at a random reference to an Entenmann’s crumb cake or a Brady Bunch episode, who can enjoy the subtleties of your native tongue or appreciate a play on words.
On the advice of a good friend in Germany who was slowly becoming
frustrated with my unending tales of loneliness and isolation, I
decided it was senseless to make myself a slave to principle any
longer, and that I ought to give socializing with the expats a whirl.
I now find myself with more activities on my calendar than I have time
for. So far my favorite is the Downtown Restaurant Association Group,
aka DRAG. Its founder is (needless to say) referred to as the Drag
Queen, and I have to admit enjoying the quirky American wit that makes
this affectionate moniker possible. Since so many of us are here on
our own, there is a nice sense of communion in sharing meals together,
and so far we have enjoyed excellent Lebanese and Korean food right
here in Dakar. Americans love acronyms, especially Americans in
government or military circles, so on occasion I am also alerted to
further activities via an electronic newsletter sent by the CLO, or
Cultural Liaison Officer. It is rather a shame that so few Senegalese
take part in these activities, but what is an inexpensive dinner for
most expats is often prohibitive for the Senegalese; this leads to a
segregation of sorts between the two worlds, reminiscent of my time in
Montreal, where I was surprised to find the Anglophones living in
certain areas and the Francophones elsewhere, with astonishingly
little interaction between them. Further, I suspect that the
Senegalese are quite happy to go home to their families at the end of
the day. The solo expats do not have this option and tend to be in a
limited contract situation, of one year or two or five, and are
desperate to find nice people in a similar situation to enjoy social
activities with, without necessarily looking for more profound
friendships/relationships.
I hasten to add that I do socialize with some Senegalese; in fact, now
that we are nearing the end of Ramadan, I have often enjoyed the
sunset breaking of the fast with dates and coffee followed by the
large communal bowl of the national dish of rice with fish and
vegetables, thieboudieune, see photo. Eating with my hands as the
locals do, I am even able to form balls after a fashion (using only
the right hand, see
http://www.traveling-stories-
to guide them into my mouth without making too much of a mess.
However, such socializing is not easy given barriers in language and
culture, a culture in which many women are at home tending to their
families and many men are unable to conceive of any relationship with
a woman other than a romantic one. There are a number of ways for the
most well-intentioned people to misunderstand one another, which also
makes it easier on some level to gravitate to those with whom you
share a common background. I say this with some wistfulness, because
it would be so nice if the two worlds I am straddling at present could
be joined - there is so much that each could learn from the other.
But until that happens, I am thankful to be able to enjoy the lessons
to be learned in both!
About the Author : Tamara-Diana Braunstein brings us her stories from Senegal every week. She was born in
Comments
Got something to say?